As people filed out of the church at the end of Beth and Izzy’s funeral ‘One Day Like This’ by Elbow rang out. Its sweeping refrain resounded through eaves and arches, looped to keep it going long enough, we hoped, to allow enough time for everyone to leave. 

We’d decided we didn’t want a ring of bells as an exit sound – I’m not even sure it would have been allowed even if we’d asked – but certainly, no ominous church organ chords. Instead, we chose an indie rock anthem in F major. A wantonly optimistic refrain for us to ceremoniously file out to, through the lines of oak pews filled with people, with standing room at the back of the parish church.

“It’s looking like a beautiful day.”

Everyone there was, I’m sure, utterly lost, reeling in the very visceral shock of it all. We’d just been to Izzy and Beth’s funeral. Their FUNERAL, ffs.

‘Throw those curtains wide!

One day like this a year would see me right.’’

Everyone set incomprehensibly adrift, heads spinning with the surreal magnitude of it all. Stunned, as I remember it, to a looming silence, as we all filed out.

‘Throw those curtains wide!

One day like this a year would see me right.’’

Days before, Trace and I had sat together in our little home study, forcing ourselves to plan this god-awful event; this unbearable, this stupid, this thrust upon us, unthinkable thing.  

The structure of the service had, with a little loosening of the Church of England liturgy – thanks to the amiable parish priest, started to take what felt like it’s natural shape – something that included as many of their closest friends as possible, to help their young broken hearts grieve and say what they could of what their grief meant. And it had to include music, we knew that for sure. 

Over the coming days, squirrelled away in our study with Spotify, the music seemed to fall naturally into place. Each track seemed poignantly placed, organic, meant to be, at that particular moment in the ceremony – and mostly, easy to agree between us. Each an instinctive, heart wrenching choice. The playlist – simply called ‘Service’ – is still on my Spotify playlist to this day. 

And then, seemingly out of nowhere, came ‘One Day Like This’.

I’ve no idea where the idea came from – neither of us is particularly an Elbow fan, I don’t even follow them on Spotify. I think I’ve only got The Seldom Seen Kid, the album that features ‘One Day Like This’ in my ready-to-be-stolen-by-Beth CD collection. And there was no obvious emotional or personal connection, like there was with Mr Hudson’s ‘Forever Young’.

‘Throw those curtains wide!

One day like this a year would see me right.’’

But somehow the words, the chords, the chorus, the refrain, despite of, or maybe even because of, their perpetual optimism and love of life and of ‘living in the moment’ seemed the very right, very perfect and very poignant choice. It somehow summed up Beth and Izzy – their zest, their youth, their love of life.  Their so adorable, so kissable faces.

F                                         Eb

So throw those curtains wide!  

Bb                                          

One day like this a year, see me right!

And at the same time, it summed up the dogged optimism we knew we had to somehow muster, to actually try to carry on with life without them.